Maybe not

Nov. 28th, 2012 11:56 pm
finding_helena: Girl staring off into the distance. Text from "River of Dreams" by Billy Joel (Default)
I don't know if this Dreamwidth migration thing is happening for me. The more I think about it, the more I'm iffy. Not because I'm any more nuts about what LJ is doing with our friends page than I used to be, but just because I feel like this is the time to be winding down my online journaling, not trying to rev it up. I do still want to keep a journal for my own reference, but since a lot of my friends are still LJ-only, migrating to DW will mean trying to build a whole new friends page and I don't think I'm up for it. I don't want to just read, either; I like to have friends I can interact with.

So I guess what I'm saying is I'm too lazy to make new friends.

Or maybe lazy isn't the right word. Maybe I'd just rather devote my energy elsewhere--to my family, to my friends in real-people space, not to starting essentially a new online blog presence.

That plus most of my lasting friendships seem to come through friends-of-friends and communities anyway, rather than through add-me groups or whatever you do to get friends out of nowhere.

So recommend me your friends, I guess. Otherwise I'm probably not going to be doing much here other than lurking.

Zero Waste

Nov. 20th, 2012 01:12 pm
finding_helena: Girl staring off into the distance. Text from "River of Dreams" by Billy Joel (Default)
In my never-ending quest for saving money and saving resources, I have declared war on food waste. I read a blog about a family who's doing no trash whatsoever (everything they buy is in reusable containers, or they make it themselves) and while we're nowhere near there, I'm slowly incorporating more bulk buying, etc. into our lives. But first, I want to make food waste a priority. I went through the fridge and cleaned out everything that had gone bad, and put all leftovers together on one shelf so we can easily see what we have. From now on, I don't want us to be throwing out food because it goes bad.

Part of the disinclination to eat leftovers is psychological. All "I'm not in the mood to eat that". And at one time I let us get away with saying we might as well get rid of leftovers we didn't really like in the first place. Well, I've altered my cooking a little so I no longer make up recipes the way I used to, and as a result I hardly ever make something that's really unpalatable. Everything I make is at worst okay. It won't kill us to eat something okay, even if we'd rather eat something yummy. I am trying to push the bar more towards consistently yummy.

First day: I ate breakfast (leftover potatoes au gratin from last night) at 10 AM, so I wasn't really hungry for lunch. So for lunch I had a single piece of leftover frozen pizza. I wasn't all that excited about eating it. But you know what? It wasn't half bad. And I'm kind of scared of the potatoes au gratin because I'm remembering the last time I tried to make a dish with cheese sauce that involved another ingredient other than pasta. That was early on in my pregnancy with Amelia when I made this turkey and leftover fondue casserole that was pretty vile and since I was having issues with food at the time, that made it ten times worse. But these potatoes au gratin, while not amazing, are not that bad either and I need to remember that when I think about eating them.
finding_helena: Girl staring off into the distance. Text from "River of Dreams" by Billy Joel (Default)
We're still sick over here, though I've hit the energy phase. I've realized over the years that if I lie around going "oh god I'm sick I don't wanna do anything" letting the house get messy, then I'm still sick AND I'm frustrated because the house is an unholy mess. Some time devoted to keeping things in line doesn't go amiss. Alec was kind of a wreck today and may go to the doctor tomorrow, though I doubt it's anything serious.

Worked at a pretty busy store today. The district manager was in and I asked him about my mileage reimbursements. He prefers us to get reimbursed directly at the store when we have to drive to a store that's far enough away (we get reimbursed if we drive over 50 miles). But there is one store in our area that won't do this, and so we have to submit an expense report for mileage. He says he'd rather I get this done at one of the stores in our district, since some of them can do the payout for another store, and then he's going to look into why this one store won't pay and stop sending me there if they won't, because he doesn't want to have to keep doing expense reports. Said store claimed it was a district policy, but their sister store across town (so same district) does them. I wouldn't mind except the last expense report I submitted took forever to come back and then they didn't even give me the right amount. I'd rather drive to the store and be able to walk out with cash in hand to cover the mileage. It's just easier that way.

Got dinner at this local Greek place that we were introduced to in a local Taste Of event. Alec really likes their honey cake, but I think in general he is not a big fan of Greek food aside from the deserts. We ate there last week too and he wasn't super-impressed with the gyros. Today I just got him some chicken soup and me a gyro and some falafel. Still have 2 falafel left. I tried making my own falafel last night but they fell apart when I tried to deep-fry them, so I'm going to try some other strategies (still have some dough left, I didn't fry it all).

Thanksgiving is probably going to be pretty low-impact this year. My sister's new in-laws host a huge gathering every year (they refer to it as their Super Bowl) so we're going to that on the day of. My parents are going to have a smaller gathering for just our family on Sunday. I don't particularly want to host as I don't want to deal with cleaning the house and cooking that much. Between being sick this week, work, and taking care of Amelia, it's kind of a lot. And our table seats six only if we disable the high chair (which attaches to a regular chair). We still haven't gotten a dining room table. The previous owners of our house had the dining room and living room flipped around and I think they might have been on to something because the dining room is not that large and might not fit a big table with the leaves out. This will require more thought. Currently we aren't using either room for its intended purpose; the dining room is an overflow area for kitchen storage and an area for Amelia to play, and the living room contains all of our books and my office stuff. The family room is where we actually sit/socialize and there is an eating area next to the kitchen where we have the table set up.

xposted to LJ and DW
finding_helena: Girl staring off into the distance. Text from "River of Dreams" by Billy Joel (Default)
Well, LJ is down again, and I should be in bed. None of my sites are updating. So what am I doing? You get one guess.

I swear at one point I had Semagic figured out to post to DW, but maybe I didn't. I do have all my journals for fictional characters on LJ that I never, ever use set up on Semagic though. *headshake*.

So, a little bit about me since I stripped it all out of my totally outdated profile. I am a not-really-aspiring writer from the Midwest. Just cracked thirty, mom to a toddler, wife to an awesome writing teacher, and part-time pharmacist. I no longer think I'll grow up to be a singer, an actress, or a writer, and I'm all right with my lack of fame. I like my life the way it is, though I neither love nor hate my job, but I'm not confident that I'm too likely to find anything that suits me better in my area where the job market is saturated and I don't have any more specialized training than any of my competition. (I look on principle, but I'm not holding my breath.) I'm counting down the days to my first NaNoWriMo, in between organizing the house (it's a house! we own it! we're in a zillion dollars worth of debt! we can replace stuff if we want to just because we want to!) I'm knitting a baby blanket for my first almost-niece due in December, and really not looking forward to having to figure out my 2012 taxes. And I'm terrified of climate change. Obligatory list of labels: I'm straight, white, cisgender, neurotypical, temporarily able-bodied, liberal, feminist, Christian, and probably others I'm forgetting.
finding_helena: Girl staring off into the distance. Text from "River of Dreams" by Billy Joel (Default)
The latest LJ debacle is making me think I might belong over here instead?

Anyone out there?
finding_helena: Girl staring off into the distance. Text from "River of Dreams" by Billy Joel (Default)
Hm, I kind of forgot that I had this and that I'd written a really cool bio.

I need to start updating again.
finding_helena: Girl staring off into the distance. Text from "River of Dreams" by Billy Joel (Default)
You walked with grace and authority, and calm. You were one of the many girls who came to college and chopped a foot off her hair, and it looked great on you. You marched to your own drummer. I wished I could be a little more like you. A little more assured.
finding_helena: Girl staring off into the distance. Text from "River of Dreams" by Billy Joel (Default)
You fit in with everyone else, but were willing to step outside it to see me, and willing to go out on a limb to say so. You knew the right thing to say to get my mouthiest camper to back off me. You had calm, and great hair. I think you would fit in anywhere.
finding_helena: Girl staring off into the distance. Text from "River of Dreams" by Billy Joel (Default)
You weren't kidding when you said you give people a certain number of chances and that's it, and when you reached your limit you felt no obligation to be even half decent, leading me to be the first person waiting desperately for the housing freeze to be over so I didn't have to live with you anymore.
finding_helena: Girl staring off into the distance. Text from "River of Dreams" by Billy Joel (Default)
You were good-humored and patient with my lack of patience for the Catholic Church; you engaged me where I was. You were young and full of energy. You didn't make religion sound like a chore, and you gave sermons that I don't remember putting me off... too much. I wonder if you'd be surprised with me now, or proud.
finding_helena: Girl staring off into the distance. Text from "River of Dreams" by Billy Joel (Default)
Cynical, matter-of fact, not losing sight of reality. Pink-collar in a world of the middle class, you stopped where you were to help us move beyond it. You gave me advice about men and career references. You saw beyond where you were in a way that nobody else did.
finding_helena: Girl staring off into the distance. Text from "River of Dreams" by Billy Joel (Default)
My best friend in high school. Edgier, lost in worlds I didn't understand, smart as hell, blase about unbelievable things. The spelling bee brought us together, the Beatles kept us together, college took us apart, and in the meantime you were as much as I could have hoped for. I saved your life (maybe), and you saved mine (maybe).
finding_helena: Girl staring off into the distance. Text from "River of Dreams" by Billy Joel (Default)
You were mature, friendly, easygoing, and relatively neat. You were a good roommate. I (age 14) was a brat. I bet we were the only people at Explore-A-College who actually had to hash things out with the RA because they couldn't get along. You made me see a side of myself I hadn't seen, but needed to see.
finding_helena: Girl staring off into the distance. Text from "River of Dreams" by Billy Joel (Default)
I meant to change everything with this journal. To get back to the basics of journaling and lose the things that have plagued me on LJ: a friends-of list full of dead journals, difficulty meeting new people, clicking on interesting people's journals and finding they haven't updated since 2007, feeling like the site or maybe my involvement has jumped the shark. Maybe I just don't need an online journal the way I used to even a year ago, clinging to it in a need to get the feelings out before they destroy me, needing to feel like I'm not alone. Maybe I'm just too placid for this kind of stuff anymore. Maybe I'm letting myself be distracted by the Tour de France and falling into the inertia of spending all my time on LJ anyway and just crossposting all these pissy little vignettes that nobody seems interested in, including me. Maybe I don't have anything to say anymore. Maybe I don't have anything definite to say anymore, maybe it won't go into essay format and I seem to get stuck in one way of writing or another pretty much no matter what I do.

I intended a fresh start. It didn't happen.

Maybe the same as always it's easy to get caught in the inertia.

My goal is not to.
finding_helena: Girl staring off into the distance. Text from "River of Dreams" by Billy Joel (Default)
Older, confident, interestingly goth. You had a bit of time to be nice to the clueless freshman. You wore your uncertainty easily and it took me forever to figure out that your seemingly so original screen name was actually drawn from a Marilyn Manson band member. I wonder if you retreated into the Web like I did.
finding_helena: Girl staring off into the distance. Text from "River of Dreams" by Billy Joel (Default)
Mild-mannered and somewhat conservative, but with surprising layers. You grew beyond the narrow way you were raised to look at life from a different perspective, and learned to be true to yourself. We read parables together and discussed premarital sex. You never fail to be understanding and your optimism is unflagging.
finding_helena: Girl staring off into the distance. Text from "River of Dreams" by Billy Joel (Default)
You rarely speak except to offer snark, but every once in a while come up with some off-the-wall but excellent idea. You seem jealous of Alec and point out his flaws, but don't set yourself up as superior. You're always up for talking soccer but, despite the fact we met at church, not so much for talking God.
finding_helena: Girl staring off into the distance. Text from "River of Dreams" by Billy Joel (Default)
You had problems and when stressed they were barely under your control. I couldn't give you what you needed, and I wished I could. The world failed you in how they saw you, and I never was sure how you saw yourself. Afterwards, I wasn't sure what would set you off, because I knew I couldn't fix it.
finding_helena: Girl staring off into the distance. Text from "River of Dreams" by Billy Joel (Default)
Laid-back, confident, never too busy to teach me something. I saw you go from second-year pharmacy student to pharmacy manager and from fiance to new father. You were always optimistic; life came easy to you and you appreciated it. You transferred to a tough store; I hope you kept your ability to smile.
finding_helena: Girl staring off into the distance. Text from "River of Dreams" by Billy Joel (Default)
A whole group of us had an instant connection and talked for hours. It was preview day; I was a freshman admissions host, you were a prospective student who stayed with me. You were smart, funny, and fun, but picked presumably somewhere else for college, and I never saw you again.